Before Lyzah's Journal
by Anily AKW-DPP
Summary: This is one of the many times of how i met the Animorphs. warning: i died here!


disclaimer: i only own myself. not Animorphs.

my name is Lyzah. i put my recorder under my pillow. i was trying to get some sleep.

it was midnight, and i was wide awake. my family and i just came back from the Philippines, so my mental clock was set on the time over there. if you're wondering what i look like,

i have long dirty blond colored hair, light brown eyes, i'm almost five foot tall. my skin is a light brown, like Asian colored from soaking too many rays when i am in the sun.

"at least it's Summer," i muttered. "i can wake up whatever time i want," then i fell into a deep dreamless sleep. until i saw him.

"hello, my child." my real father greeted.

"how can i be your child? you're not even human,"

"i became human."

"then why didn't you just visit me in person?"

"my time," he answered. "it is almost up,"

"no, Father! i just met you!" i yelled. "don't leave me, Father,"  
"do not weep, Allyzah," he held my face in his many fingered hands. "you still have yet to meet your twin and my younger brother yet,"

"where are they?" i wondered. "are their time ending too? are they alive? if they are, where can i find them?"

"my brother is going to be found soon, by your brother Tobias and his friends. tomorrow, when you see a blue cube, touch it. then, when you touch an animal and concentrate on an image of it. then you will become it. morph a small animal to get inside of the attic of the house on the address on the letter. a red-tail would be in there at night. that is your brother. i gave him the power to morph with his friends. when they entered the Yeerk Pool, Tobias got trapped in morph. the others have a time limit. they can't stay in morph more than two hours. the cube i will give you, gives the power to morph, but without a limit."

"can the others get the time limit removed too?"

"only when the war with the Yeerks is over." he struggled. "good-bye, Allyzah,"

"good-bye Father," i rested my head in his arms, and started to cry.

"promise me you will watch over them,"

"i will, Father, i will."

i woke up. "it was all a dream," i whispered.

hope, a faint voice said. believe in hope. then there was no more.

"i will." i said softly. i cried myself to sleep.

when i next woke up, it was 9 a.m. i looked around. on my desk, there was a blue box like Father told me there would be. i read the letter under it.

"dear Allyzah,

the address of where you should look in the attic of is on the back. if you don't see a hawk there at night, then search in the woods near the next address. don't go as a human. morph small animals so they won't see you. good luck with your journey.

love, your Father,

Elfangor/Alan "

i did as Father told me last night. i walked around, looking for a bird to morph. when i was near the park, i saw one. a red-tail. it was perching in a tree staring at me.

_is that you Tobias, my brother? _i thought as i climbed up the tree to acquire it.

when i reached him, he didn't move. i stroked his chest as i looked into his fierce golden eyes.

he just stared at me. i sat in the tree a while longer, even though i already acquired him. the fierce eyes seemed to soften to show that he was confused. _  
_

_ do i know you? _they asked. _you look so much like someone i know.  
_

_ that will be answered soon, if you are the red-tail i was told to find, _i thought. i climbed down. the rest of the way home, i felt his eyes watching me.

i went inside my house. no one was there. _perfect, _i thought as i ran to my room to open the window. _now i can see if this works,  
_

i morphed. when my eye vision sharpened, i saw another red-tail flying above. it was still there, heading towards the direction of the second address Father gave me. i followed it.

then i noticed the red-tail was identical to the one i morphed. _its Tobias._

he landed in the rafters. i landed in a tree outside.

"where have you been, Bird-boy?" a male asked. i guess Bird-boy was Tobias' nickname. "out hunting?"

"no, just riding some thermals." he answered."something happened today,"

"got to try roadkill?" the same male asked.

"no, Marco." Tobias replied. "when i was resting, a girl climbed up and stroked my chest. she wasn't afraid of me biting her,"

"maybe she just likes animals like i do," a female suggested.

"but as she climbed up, i heard a faint voice, Cassie. it was saying, "is that you Tobias, my brother?""

"maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you," a different male said.

"the girl looked like the female version of me, Jake." he stated.

"are you alright, Bird-boy?" Marco wondered. "that doesn't sound like something you would say,"

"i'm okay everyone!" Tobias snapped. "the girl did look like me, alright!?"

"we're just worrying about you, Tobias," another female quoted.

"i'm sorry Rachel, everyone. its just, he started. when i was thinking, "do i know you?", the girl answered back with normal thoughts, "that will be answered soon, if you are the red-tail i was told to find,""

"that could not be possible for her to hear you unless," another thought speak voice stated. Ax, they already found him. "she was part Leeran or a relative of yours,"

_Ax is right, Tobias. i am your twin sister. i know everything that had happened to you since you met Elfangor.  
_

"Tobias!" Rachel yelled. "Tobias, what happened?"

"she said that she was my sister," he paused. "and she knows we know Elfangor."

Tobias

"what?!"

"what?!" the others said.

_i am not a Yeerk, Jake, Rachel, Tobias, Cassie, Marco, and Aximili. my Father is someone whom had told me not to tell his name to you. he told me the night he died, which was the night Elfangor met you. you all met him that night also. if you all here me, i can stop talking only to Tobias, then he tell you. stop looking for me, Aximili. i blend in with my surroundings right now.  
_

"was that her, Tobias?" Jake inquired.

"you heard her too?"

they nodded.

_good, now that i know that, i will leave. i will come later. you will see that girl from the park again, Tobias. you may see her in the mall. you will get the power to morph again Tobias. when the war ends, someone that knows you will give you a different type of advantage to add to your morphing power. there would not be no limit. you could stay in morph for a year, and still demorph. you can still get it when you become a nothlit_._good-bye for now.  
_

i felt like i was going to choke. no limit. i could still get it if i was a nothlit. either way, she said i would get the morphing power back anyway.

we decided to cut today's meeting short. i flew off to think about what she had told us.

then i saw her. the girl that was the female version of me. she looked tired and depressed, like she told someone something, and they didn't believe her. i took my chances, and flew to land on her shoulder. she was surprised, but she was happier.

"hi again," she stroked my chest again. "last time we met, i just took off. don't think that was right of me? do you?" she laughed. "my name's Lyzah," she placed me on her forearm. i was surprised that she wanted me on it even though it was bare. she didn't even wince at all. then i remembered the voice. it sounded like Lyzah's.

_who are you? why do you seem so happy whenever you see a red-tail? how did you know me?  
_

her happy smile turned into a face of sadness."i can't tell you now," Lyzah answered. "and i may never have a chance."

_she is right, Tobias. _the voice replied. _the thing you asked her may get her killed if you got captured by the Yeerks. Visser Three will kill her, your friends, and__ you too.  
i may not be able to see you again, it is to dangerous. if i do, it is to warn you about the next attack that Visser plans. you will see me, but you cannot follow me. do not check on me, tell Jake that.  
_

"i may not be able to see you again, it is to dangerous. if i do, it is to warn you about the next attack that Visser plans. you will see me, but you cannot follow me. do not check on me, tell Jake that."

Lyzah and the voice replied at the same time, as if they were one.

_you are smarter than i thought, Tobias. i am sorry, but you will not remember any of this. only that someone will warn you in visions about Visser's plans. Good-bye.  
_

"good-bye," Lyzah put me on a branch, and ran off to a place far away, her hands held her head. she cried hard. she bumped into a few people, only saying sorry. she didn't stop for anything. she just ran and ran. she was passing by the barn when the others were coming out. they tried to keep her there to calm down.

she only answered the same words. "no, i can't tell you."

"why not?" Cassie asked.

"i can't tell you that either. i'm sorry, Jake, Cassie, Rachel, Marco, and "Phillip". i can't tell you anything. otherwise, i will be killed. or worse, captured. if they get me, they will get you all. tell Tobias that i couldn't be with him. i have to keep that a secret." she got up and ran away. "i'm sorry i failed you, Elfangor. sorry i couldn't keep my end of our promise, Father." she had entered the abandoned site when she said that. she was now sitting behind the small wall we were hiding in when Visser Three ate Elfangor.

she kept on saying "i'm sorry i failed Elfangor. i couldn't keep our promise, Father." over and over again.

_Father? Elfangor? how could she fail Elfangor, when he never met the guy? and how does her Father have to do with this?  
_

_ very good question, Tobias. i think i will answer__all your questions,_ the voice answered.

_what or who are you?  
i am your twin sister, Anily. that is my Andalite name. my human form, as you know, is Lyzah.  
_

_ you're Lyzah?  
_

Lyzah nodded.

_second, how does Elfangor and your Father have to do with this?  
_

_ i, i...  
_

_ we'll skip that, Lyzah. now, if you are my twin, how come i never met you? how come you aren't never at our uncle's or aunt's house?  
_

_ our uncle and aunt didn't want to even keep one of us. i was sent to a foster home.  
_

_ how would i know my Andalite name if another Andalite sees me as an Andalite if i morph Ax?  
_

_ your Andalite name is Towk-Tobias-Shrinnial.  
_

_ that's pretty much all i have to ask. why don't you come by tomorrow and answer the others' questions?  
_

_ all right.  
_

_ now, about your Father, and Elfangor,...  
_

_ Elfangor is our Father.  
_

_ that's what you were talking about, "he told me the night he died, which was the night Elfangor met you. you all met him that night also."  
_

_ see you tomorrow Tobias. and Tobias, i may not be in this form. look for different animals. i will tell you what animal i am when i get there. probably, around nine a.m.  
okay. see you.  
_

Lyzah got up and walked home. it was 5, so the others should be in the barn, having our meeting, since Lyzah was listening that morning. i flew there as fast as i could haul my tail feathers out of there.

"now where' you been, Bird-boy? were you sleeping in or, the crazy voice find ya again?" Marco joked.

"the voice is human."i said. "she will be in my meadow tomorrow so we can ask her some questions. she will be hiding. she is afraid she will get killed, if one of us became a Controller. she knows more than we do."

"so when will we meet her? what time, i mean," Rachel inquired.

"around nine, tomorrow morning."

"will she be talking in normal voice, or the way she was this morning?" Cassie asked.

"with thoughts, exactly like this morning."

"so, we talk later, after our meeting with the voice." Jake told us. "is there something else we can call her? it doesn't feel right calling her the voice."

_you can call me: Lyz, or Ani.  
_

_ Lyzah! i thought you went home! _i said to her.

_i came back here to see if we were doing the meeting tomorrow. i will leave now, if there is no changes. _she replied to everyone.

the others nodded, and we went our ways.

as i flew to Ax's scoop, while he ran below me, i saw a red-tail taking flight. it came from around the barn.

_can you tell me how to do thought speak, Tobias? it wears me out when i do this way. i don't want to tire myself to death,  
_

_ i'll tell you later. after the meeting tomorrow. bye.  
_

_ bye.  
_

i got to Ax's scoop at the same time as Ax did.

"hello, Tobias. do you have to tell me something?" Ax inquired.

"yeah, Ax," i answered. "when i found out that Lyz was human, she told me something else."

"what is it, Tobias?"

"she said i was part Andalite."

"how?!"

"i don't know that, Ax," i lied. "she said my Andalite name is Towk-Tobias-Shrinnial."

"how does Lyz know this?"

"she just knows,"

"all right. but if she tells you who your Andalite parent is, tell me right away,"

"okay, Ax,"

i flew of to my tree.

_nice of you to keep our secret.  
_

_ where are you now, Lyzah?  
_

_ i'm at my house. i was flying overhead when you were talking to Ax.__bye!_

_bye._

i woke up again at 8:45. i had told Lyzah how to thought speak at 7:10.

"Tobias, i hope you already had your breakfast, 'cause, you may eat me if you're hungry." Lyzah said.

"you're a rat?!" i asked her.

"just don't eat rats this morning. my rat brain is scared enough as it is, not moving when there is a predator in the area,"

the others arrived.

"can you tell us what your human name is?" Jake inquired.

_my human name is close to Lyz. you met my human form before. i'm going to use thought speak now.  
_

"is that a no?" Cassie wondered.

"you have to wait for a while before i can tell you my full name."

"have you met us all when you are in your human form? man. hue. man. for. mm." Ax asked. he was in human morph.

"yes." she answered. "and Ax, if you are eating something, as Phillip, don't eat so much at one time. then it will be very easy for a Controller or me to find you."

"listen to Lyz, Ax. slow down on the buns." Marco joked. "wait, how do you know his name is Ax, not Phillip?"

"as Tobias said yesterday, i know a lot more than you all do, Marco. and i'm sorry about your mom, and Jake's brother:Tom." she said. "Aximili, please stop playing with sounds. it makes it harder to figure out what you're saying in this morph."

"how do you know you aren't a Yeerk?" Rachel demanded.

"if i was, there would be Controllers crawling all over this place. Tobias, check the area so the others will believe me,"

i flew around in circles, checking for Controllers.

"no one for miles. closest ones are a family of four having a picnic a hundred yards away."

"now, do you believe me?"

the others nodded. she was safe, for now.

"how did you talk like how you did when Tobias first met you?" Marco inquired.

"a fellow Andalite told me in a dream once." she answered, referring to Elfangor.

"what do you mean? mea. nuh. me. nuh." Ax said.

she sighed. "i'm part Andalite," she replied. i saw a rat scamper into the trees. "i am coming out as my Andalite form," she knew that the others may kill her-mostly Ax, since she was part Andalite.

a blue-purple colored Andalite came out from the trees. she was our age, but she was smaller than Ax as an Andalite.

"my Andalite name is Anily." she told them. she shook hands with the others. when it was Ax's turn, he paused for a moment, knowing that Andalites weren't that interested in Earth very much.

"why don't we go talk about this at the mall?" Marco asked. then, realising what he said, "oh, no."

"mall? can we have some cinnamon buns? bunz. unz. bunz. ah."

"no, i meant my house! i didn't say mall!" Marco yelled, trying to fix his mistake.

"why don't we go to my human form's house? my "family" went to the hospital because of my "brother's" surgery. they left the house to me."

the others decided they would go to her house.

"excuse me for a moment while i morph," Lyzah said. "i don't really like to be seen when morphing," she was making lies so the others wouldn't find out that she was human. she ran back into the trees. this time, when she came out, she was pretty much like Cassie, Rachel, herself, and one more person combined.

she had black hair that reached her lower stomach, eyes that was brown and blue mixed, 4 ft and 8 in tall, medium dark skin colored, and a few freckles. she had her morphing suit torn, around the legs.

"well, you certainly don't have a taste of style," Rachel stated. "neither do you know when to cut the hair."

"i mixed Cassie's, Rachel's, a human named Lyzah, and her friend Samantha's DNA. i don't know how to control how the morph comes out."

"fine, but let's get you into some decent clothes without Rachel dragging us to the mall," Cassie whispered to her. Cassie grabbed Lyzah before Rachel could grab them, and ran to her house to get some clothes.

"this is going to get amusing, considering what Ax did when he first put on clothes," Marco joked.

Lyzah

Cassie dragged me to her room before Rachel could grab me and take me to the mall.

she took some clothes out of her closet. i would fit her clothes since my morph and her were the same sizes.

"do you know how to put them on, Lyz?" she wondered.

i nodded.

"i'll turn away so you can have some privacy," she turned to face the wall.

i put them on. "they are all on, Cassie," i said. "you can look now,"

she turned. she was so shocked, it may as well had been wrote all over her face. she ignored the fact that i didn't put the pants on my head, or my socks on my hands, like Ax did when he first morphed human.

when we got back, Marco whispered something to Cassie. she muttered something back. i think what they said was:

"did Lyz put the clothes on backwards or something like Ax?"

"no, she got it right the first time. it's like she had already done it many times before, considering this is her first time in human morph, and her foster family left her with the house to herself most of the time so she never morphed,"

we decided to walk to my house. we also decided not to walk there in a big group. instead, we were going to walk in pairs. Rachel with Cassie, Marco with Jake, Ax was behind them, Tobias in the air, and i was in front of them. Cassie had gave me a hair tie, since it was hot, and my morph had long hair.

i felt sorry that i had to lie to the others. Tobias had to lie to Ax when he told him he was part Andalite.

i walked, glancing back every few seconds to see if the others where still there. i hung my head low. i felt guilty that i couldn't even tell my uncle Ax. Father only told me i could tell Tobias. he had also said, they will forget what i had told them soon. next time they will tie me up for three days.

i knew the others were talking about me. sometimes i saw Ax talking to the others. i could hear some things they said every now and then.

we walked to my room. we talked a bit about some questions. Ax demorphed because he was near two hours. then it happened.

Tobias

Lyzah was in the middle of a word when she fell. the others and i rushed over to her side.

her eyes were bright green. her hair turned a dirty-blond, and shortened. her skin grew lighter. she kept on demorphing.

when that finished, she turned into me, Anily, a rat, her first human morphed named Allyza, another human morph named Nari, a dog, roach, fly, and finally stopped morphing. she didn't move.

"no," her faint voice said. "let me stay with my brother and uncle," tears formed in her eyes. "i barely met my real family," her eyes were changing into her normal color. her eyes stared at me. then Ax. "be careful, Brother and Uncle," with that her eyes closed shut. "good-bye," her heart beat slowed down.

after a while, Cassie checked her pulse. she said she couldn't find any. she was dead. my twin died only about three days after i met her.

"what did she mean by brother and uncle?" Rachel asked me.

"she said we will forget this happened anyway, so why do i need to say?" i flew off.

i landed near the abandoned site. the others stayed in Lyzah's room so when her foster family would know what happened.

as i flew over the wall where Lyzah and i talked alone last, i saw a shimmer of a image of Lyzah staring at me. it lasted a minute then disappeared.

_take care Tobias. i will always be here for you, alive or not, _Lyzah's voice called.

_take care Lyzah. i will be waiting for your return, _i replied. i wished i was human so i could cry because of her death. i landed back in my meadow. before i knew it, i was changing.

_you can be human now, Tobias. you don't have to live as a hawk anymore. you can still morph. this is your natural state now. i had told my parents before they left for the hospital, that if i died, to let you stay with them. you was a great brother to me, even though we just met. i want others to feel the same. tell them that i am glad that you are with them. i wouldn't have it any other way, _she told me.

i walked into the streets. i saw some people that i knew stare at me. i headed to Lyzah's house. know i would have a real family to live with, since she said i could live there. i was happy.

Lyzah

i was dead. i died before Ax knew that Tobias and i were his brother's children. but i was glad. my brother was human again. he could still morph too. though my family had lost me, they gained Tobias. i knew the others will soon forget me, but Tobias would remember some of our meetings. he would remember the time we first met. that would stay the same way in the next time. like most Sario Rips, this would only be a faint memory to everyone but Tobias. in the real timeline, i was to be held for three days, and i would tell everyone who i was at the same time. after a while after i was released, Tobias would remember our first meeting in the timeline that i died in.

i watched Tobias as he walked to my house. his head hung low. he was sad i had died, yet happy he now had a family to live with.

when he was a block away from my home, the others passed by him. after a while, they looked back. they didn't think that it was really him. Tobias looked around. he was trying to get familiar to the town from below. Rachel saw his face first.

"Tobias?" she said. he didn't hear her, and kept on walking to my home.

"it's Tobias!" Rachel told the others. "he's back to his old self again!"

the others still couldn't believe their eyes. they walked a few yards behind him, wondering where he was going.

he knocked on my door. my foster brother opened it. he thought it was me coming home. he cried and ran to my foster mother. she came to the door way.

"hello, can i help you?" she asked. she was surprised when she saw Tobias' face.

"my name is Tobias." he answered. "i was told to come here."

"go ahead inside. Lyzah told me to let you live here if you wanted to,"

the other's were even more surprised at this. know that they saw Tobias' human face again, they saw that we looked like each other. if i was a boy, no one would be able tell who was who.

Tobias asked if he could go into my room. my "mom" nodded. when he entered, he saw my body still laying on the floor. he sat on my bed and cried. i tried to comfort him. but i was just a ghost. still, i sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. he jerked his head up. he had felt me. but he couldn't see me. i cried with him. i cried in my heart. somehow, tears fell on Tobias' pants. those weren't his though. somehow i could cry with him. he got up after a few minutes of crying and went to ask my "mom" a question.

"can i take her body to somewhere to bury her?" he asked. she nodded.

"she would want that," she said and left the house to go to my "grandma's" house with my "dad and brother".

Tobias picked up my dead body and carried it to his meadow. he dug a hole big enough for my body to stay in. he carefully placed my body in it. he covered it and left.

i cried some more. i couldn't be with him after all. at least, not in this timeline. i cried until i could cry no more.

Tobias' words played in my head. "i will be waiting for your return."

_if i return.  
_

wrote by: Anily-Lyzah-Redhawk


End file.
